As we get older, the hormone balance in both men and women changes. This is usually also accompanied by a change in sexuality in old age. Women become less interested in sex, and men find it difficult to get an erection. So, sex becomes increasingly difficult as we get older. Or at least, that’s how it would seem – all the changes taking place in our bodies make sure of that anyway. Yet is it still possible to have a satisfying sexuality at the age of 50 and beyond?
How sexuality changes with age
With women, it’s usually the menopause that is responsible for influencing sexual sensation. Or at least, many women complain of having sexual problems during the menopause. Generally due to the common problem of vaginal dryness, which occurs as a result of a drop in oestrogen levels. There is a lack of natural lubrication in the intimate area – including during sex. The mucous membranes also become dry and sensitive. Many women also experience pain during sex – which is far from conducive to a fulfilling sex life. For all those having to suffer from precisely this problem and losing interest in sex as a result, a lubricant can offer the right solution. We explain why in more detail below. Generally speaking, however, sexual desire continues to exist in women and does not simply disappear with their final monthly period. A woman’s libido (sex drive) is usually at its highest at the age of 30, at which point it flattens off slightly but then actually remains at a constant level. Even during and after the menopause. In this respect, then, there is nothing stopping women from being sexually active.
For many women, however, the physical changes that accompany old age are also a problem. They no longer feel happy in their own body and as a result are no longer happy giving themselves up to their partner, either.
However, there are also women who find sex particularly enjoyable, precisely because they no longer have monthly periods and contraception to worry about. For them, the absence of their periods is a kind of liberation. For these women, the changes to their love life are even a positive thing.
In men, too, it is the hormones – or more specifically the drop in testosterone levels – which are responsible for the change in a man’s sexuality in old age. As we have discussed previously in our article ‘The male hormones – testosterone and the like’, men can suffer from reduced libido – or less interest in sex – as a result of the testosterone deficiency that men experience as they age. Many men also have erection problems in this phase of their lives. The tissues in the penis increasingly lose their elasticity and, in addition, the penis no longer gets as hard as it did when they were younger, making penetration even more difficult. Men also become less motivated and in some cases even suffer from depression. In this case, they don’t have the motivation for much of a sex life, either. And the male body changes with age, too, and many men become unhappy with their bodies. All of which are aspects that can have a negative effect on a man’s love life.
Tips for sexuality in old age
- Talk to each other. When it comes to sex and their changing bodies, both men and women should talk to each other about their problems. It is particularly important that your partner knows what you are going through, and vice versa. Only in this way is it possible to accommodate each other and meet each other’s needs.
- When you have erection problems and vaginal dryness to contend with, you should spend plenty of time on foreplay. Be responsive to each other and take your time. There’s no reason to feel pressed for time or pressure to perform, particularly in old age.
- Sexuality is not just about sexual intercourse. A satisfying sexuality in old age can also include erotic massage or any other form of caress. The only thing that matters is that you both enjoy it and feel comfortable with it.
- Personal lubricants can alleviate the symptoms of vaginal dryness. Although these are usually only associated with sex, if high-quality intimate personal lubricants are used on a daily basis, this can alleviate the symptoms of vaginal dryness. So, a personal lubricant should be used not just for sex but as part of your regular intimate hygiene routine.
- There’s no longer any need to try the most unusual sexual positions in old age. Try to find sex positions that you both feel comfortable with. It’s been a long time since athleticism and stamina were important.
- It’s something women are very familiar with, but it can also help men stay sexually active in old age: pelvic floor training. Women can do it to train their pelvic floor and as a result not only combat potential bladder weakness but also tighten the tissues in the vagina. Pelvic floor training also increases circulation to the pelvic floor, which can result in increased sensitivity for the woman. Pelvic floor training can help men have a stronger ejaculation and give them better penis control.
Everyone experiences changes in their sexuality as they grow old, but that doesn’t have to mean that a satisfying sex life is no longer possible. Quite the opposite, because once you reach a certain age having very frequent sex is no longer what matters. Instead, it becomes especially important to appreciate quality and tenderness in your own sexuality. Added to which, neither men nor women lose their feeling of desire – it usually just changes a little. We have explained what couples should watch out for, and we hope many more people will continue to have a satisfying sex life in old age, too. So as for the question we asked at the outset, we would answer with a resounding ‘Yes’. Everyone should have a satisfying sex life, no matter how old ❤